Discernment Counseling: Finding Clarity When You’re Unsure What’s Next
It’s not uncommon for couples to reach a point where they’re unsure what the future of their relationship looks like. Maybe one of you is thinking about divorce while the other still wants to work things out. It’s a painful and confusing place to be—for both of you.
That’s where discernment counseling comes in. It’s a specialized form of couples counseling designed for partners who feel stuck between staying and leaving. Unlike traditional marriage counseling, which assumes both people are ready to rebuild, discernment counseling helps you figure out what direction feels right for your relationship.
Why Discernment Counseling Can Help
When one partner is uncertain or ambivalent, jumping straight into therapy can make it hard to move forward. Research from the University of Minnesota’s Couples on the Brink project found that this short-term process helps couples find clarity and confidence before making big decisions.
Some couples leave discernment counseling ready to begin relationship counseling with new energy and focus. Others discover that separation might be the healthiest next step. Either way, it helps you move out of uncertainty and into clarity—together.
What It Looks Like
Discernment counseling typically lasts one to five sessions. In each session, we spend time together as a couple and also one-on-one. The goal isn’t to fix everything in a few sessions—it’s to help you answer one big question:
Do we want to work on this marriage, or is it time to move in a different direction?
If you do decide to continue with couples therapy, the process often goes more smoothly because both partners are clearer and more committed. Research and clinical experience show that when couples enter therapy with a shared commitment, counseling is much more likely to help them rebuild connection and trust.
Why I Offer This Work
I’m a Certified Discernment Counselor, trained through discernmentcounseling.com, a program founded by Dr. Bill Doherty, who developed this model. I use his structured, research-informed approach to help couples who are “on the brink” of separation slow down, communicate clearly, and make decisions that align with their values.
Taking the Next Step
Discernment counseling isn’t about pushing you toward any outcome—it’s about helping you find clarity, confidence, and peace with whatever path you choose.
If you and your partner are at a crossroads and want to explore whether couples counseling or marriage therapy is right for you, I’d love to help you take the next step.
